5 Powerful Tips To Overcome Body Dysmorphia

This article has some helpful and original tips for those suffering from body dysmorphia, but before we start some readers might be wondering ‘what is body dysmorphia’ and ‘why is it a problem that stops you from making impactful life changes?’.

What Is Body Dysmorphia?

Body dysmorphia is categorized as a mental ‘disorder’ where a person obsessively thinks a part of their body or appearance is severely flawed.

How this comes about is often a combination of genetics (this we can’t change) and environmental factors such as the idea of perfectionism and childhood bullying (which may have affected us, but which we can change).

But if you clicked on this article you probably already know this, and instead are wondering how to fix such a psychological ‘disorder’.

Well, firstly and importantly, this is not medical advice. For those deeply scared by body dysmorphia then stable counselling is needed first, but if you are looking for some real insight into how to go about your day and give you the best chance of overcoming your body dysmorphia then read on.

A word of warning though.

These 5 powerful tips aren’t your usual flaky suggestions in lists that aim to make you temporarily feel better about your own image by saying positive affirmations to love yourself more.

Positive affirmations have their place, and it is certainly something you can do to build up your self-worth on a daily basis, but here we get under the skin more to push some buttons as often that is the kind of help that is needed for us to challenge bigger psychological issues in the long run, which body dysmorphia is.

So, let’s jump right in.

1) Don’t Overanalyze Yourself

The first tip is meant to cut out the analysis-paralysis, so let’s keep it short.

How many hours do you spend looking in the mirror? Scrolling through ideal dress trends or styles on Instagram? Deciding on what to wear? Pumping iron in the gym beyond just being healthy or fit?

How many hours do you spend looking at your perceived (or even real) imperfection? Does that help you feel better about it?

If there was an app to track just how much wasted time we spent on analysis-paralysis then the results would probably be pretty alarming.

That’s not to be insensitive to a psychological issue but we are wanting to fix the issue right?

The best way to start is to take ownership of the issue and how we look at things generally by obsessive habit.

Every minute you spend over analyzing what is trending or what you should wear or look like for a particular occasion, or if my left cheek is aligned symmetrically with my right, if this selfie pic has slightly better lightning than the other, if my imperfection would just go away if I stare at it more (and then feel worse about it), something happens.

You know what it is?

You lose time in your life to get on with doing other things that can really help you get over analyzing your perceived imperfections. You miss out on laughter, fun, taking your mind away from over analyzing yourself.

To be fair, it’s not surprising we analyze ourselves so much (and not just with body dysmorphia) considering the access to social media and all the tracking tools we have access to for different things today, but those metrics don’t help you do the one thing that is most important, which is to just get on with your life without all the fluff distracting you and heightening your insecurities.

So, eliminate fluff as much as you can each day. Start by smiling and brining endorphins to your brain to push some happy chemical connections around your mind instead.

You got this. Let’s move on from the mirror.

2) Get Off Social Media (Don’t Compare Yourself To Others)

I know, it’s pretty hard to just switch off and turn away from what this globalized society is throwing in your direction each day.

But if we already have a low opinion of ourselves, or a particular part of our body, then it really doesn’t help staring at seemingly ‘perfect’ body examples on the likes of Instagram.

It may come as a shock (or maybe not) that many of those you may stare at for the ideal features to aspire to are doing the exact same to you.

They might kill to have your (insert body part here). You won’t feel like that’s the case if insecure about your own perceived imperfection, but what you might think is perfect in someone else, they might see the same in you about their imperfection.

I do wish this world of celebrity culture and influencer stars would come to an end. It leads so many absolutely brilliant human beings feeling lower about themselves and their worth in society each day because they don’t look a certain way or don’t follow a certain expectation.

If it’s any consolation, those who don’t follow the trends are already a step ahead in getting over their own insecurities.

Why?

All social media does to someone suffering from body dysmorphia is take their attention into their own insecurities by subliminally making them compare themselves to others, whether it be looks or follower counts.

In that respect social media is a plague and it’s something worth trying to minimize or quit altogether, so you can focus on what is more important, building your own self-worth up.

3) Learn Not To Give A F*ck: Think of Yourself As Old And Ugly Now

This next tip isn’t meant to cheapen body dysmorphia but it’s actually a very useful technique that I found helpful in my own times in the past having certain obsessive frailties about my appearance and mentality (see number 5).

While body dysmorphia might seem like a fairly rare ‘disorder’ self-image is actually something that affects nearly everybody.

There are those who see themselves as ugly because they don’t fit a stereotypical typecast (and the celebrity culture only makes that worse), and those who are striving for perfection (even if they are ‘conventionally’ seen as beautiful) because they have being ingrained to feel like they have to keep up appearances to feel wanted, accepted or even powerful.

One of the best instant solutions to this?

Laugh at yourself. Eminem (yes I’m already old..ish) was good at that. He took away material that others would use against him in rap battles (or at least that what the movie portrayed ha).

Do what makes you feel good. This is especially important when self-worth is low. Any little thing that brings about a good feeling in your day will help, but there’s one tactic that I found helped even more as it wasn’t so short term as the others.

That was to just accept whatever you have now is the best it will be and learn to see yourself in an even worse state when you age.

This was hard to accept at first. It arguably made me feel worse thinking my (many) imperfections were only going to get harder and harder to conceal (figuratively) as time would pass by.

Then it hit. Why bother try to conceal at all. Why not express that imperfection as a part of your character and just embrace it.

You’re tall. Great, you can reach things easier. You’re short. Great. You get so much more legroom on a plane. You’re nose is big. Great. You can smell better. Even if things aren’t strictly true, when you see it as an advantage in being unique and original (rather than the same as what is conventionally accepted) then you feel less like you need to copy that flawed perfection you were craving.

Imagine yourself really old and wrinkly now. Go on, try.

Imagine yourself really old where grey hair is coming out your ears and your back can’t stand up straight.

You may have a lot more imperfections then.

Why is it then that often people who age seem happier in life as they reach grand old ages?

Of course, not everyone, but do you think it was easy to accept that first grey hair, or a new wrinkle each passing week?

Of course it wasn’t but it also did one thing each time age took its toll. It taught them a valuable lesson in not giving a f*ck anymore.

Embrace the wrinkles. They are distinguishing.

It’s not to say give up on yourself or don’t take pride in your appearance, but it is to say age frees you from worries as you learn to accept change.

If you can accept that things are going to change anyway then it might well make you care less about what current inspection you see in yourself now.

It’s all about reframing.

4) You Are Not Out Of Order (Drop The Group Victim Mentality)

I never liked the word ‘disorder’ as it implies there is something wrong with you, but you aren’t a machine and you don’t need fixing as such.

While it might just seem like a technical term it’s these kind of sayings that lead to a victim mentality approach in today’s world.

It never helps anyone to feel like the victim, so why do we associate ourselves with this pity card? Well, here’s what’s happening.

Today’s society and media has placed victim mentality on a high pedestal. It aligns with virtue signaling and wanting to be heard in a world where the push for equality is bringing (much needed) awareness to groups who have been the subject of unconscious and conscious discrimination.

While that all sounds like a good thing, it also unconsciously sends a signal to those who aren’t being heard to fit into an identity group somehow so they will also be heard and validated.

It’s actually ends up stopping people from just accepting themselves as themselves as they aren’t heard as much as an individual, and a victim mentality is easier to develop in a crowd. More people will pity you if they are going though the same.

This might sound harsh, but it’s meant to draw a valid point. If we can’t love ourselves as an individual then how can we get over our own insecurities.

Hiding behind a group won’t get rid of them, it only masks them. It might also lead to an ego on the outside (through strength in numbers), but within it can lead people to feeling even more alone and insecure unless we start seeking within to change that.

So, whilst body dysmorphia is often sprouted from a negative self image that image only amplifies if we attached ourselves to a group ‘victim’ mentality.

5) You Are Not Alone (You Have Your Future-Self Looking Out For You)

Remember, you are not alone. Everyone is going through some personal difficulty. It just feels like your difficulty is harder because you are personally affected by it.

Plus, in today’s world there’s more support networks out there on the internet than ever before, so even though point two was to quit social media (if it’s drawing in your poor self image), you can also use technology to help you.

If you are feeling pretty low in your self image, or have this perfectionist mindset that makes you think that you should always be better, then just remember, there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s normal, and it’s a culmination of life experience that is often out of your control, and, the most important part, you will get through it.

If it helps, here’s my sorry past story:

Throughout my life I’ve had to live with a lazy eye (after I had an unfortunate accident as a child and the hospital patch treatment didn’t work) as well as the mental imperfection of having big front teeth, being too tall and skinny for a guy (amongst many other perceived imperfections). That led to bullying, some unconscious, some down right in your face.

I left school with a pretty low opinion of myself as I never really fit into the social standard. I was shy and withdrawn after my parents divorce. I struggled to eat food properly at all until university, and was bullied at school for that too. I was a bit of loner with only a few true friends. I often had panic attacks in the streets when there were too many people in one place. I simply wasn’t good in groups.

I had a pretty controlling father at the time who was a businessman who gave his kids the drilled expectation to be ultra successful in financial terms by yesterday (he’s wonderful today though – age changes people to see what really matters, but so does the perception of how you see things), and a mother who is the best mother anyone could ever hope for, when sober – the other side was a very different story and one left for nightmares (thankfully she is also well past that).

I looked younger than most of my peers and was often left behind when the age of sneaking into bars arrived. I found solace in playing music but even that was a sense of escapism. I had a very low sense of self-esteem all the way through to my mid-twenties until traveling changed all of that. I am a serial failure in terms of a conventional career expectation having avoided a ‘proper job’ as an employee for the past 10 plus years and barely making any money through my life having never had a house or even owning a car outright, having lived abroad unconventionally for the past decade or so.

But you know what, I feel great about it today. Those experiences shaped me into who I am today. I’ve achieved so much since in many other ways than the conventional version of ‘success’ and feel freer than ever.

My sorry story might be familiar or might be seen as nothing. I’m a lucky one compared to what some other people have to go through, but one thing is true. My perception of what I was going through felt like me against the world, or the world against the me. It’s the perception that changes everything, and changed everything for me.

There will be those who say ‘yeah but, my experiences are harder’, and I’d say of course they are, to you. But comparing our struggles never helps us. There’s likely more each of us can add to our list of difficulties (I certainly know I left some of the harder ones out of that sorry story as I’d prefer not to share them publically). What matters most is how we change how we perceive them.

You might feel like your obsessive insecurities around body dysmorphia are the center of the world, like everyone is looking at you and you are so different compared to everyone else who has it easy, but the truth is everyone amplifies their own insecurities, so don’t feel alone. There’s many who feel the same, and most people focus on their own issues rather than other people’s.

This isn’t a bad thing though, and it can be used to our advantage when we perceived it that way.

The simple fact is, we don’t get to decide what cards we are dealt but we do get to decide how we deal with them in the long run.

That might take counseling or self-directed psychology study for some but it’s worth it.

You grow far more as a person from your hardships than you do from when things are easier.

So, that’s a silver-lining at least.

Another point is you also learn that much of what you thought was hard was only hard because you weren’t in control of it at the time, until you were and it got much easier.

This also goes back to learning not to give a f*ck.

For example, if I really cared what people thought on the surface I could still see myself as a failure, as a wonky eye etc. Yet, when I think about the vast knowledge and life experience I’ve acquired through living a more unconventional life then I realize that I’m completely free, not because I don’t work for someone else, but because I put the choice in my hands.

I choose not to own things that don’t add value to me. I choose not to follow the rat race or the ideal of buying a house to provide freedom and security, because more often it does the opposite. I choose not to live in the same place I was brought up and instead lived abroad in different challenges and experiences over the last decade, and found my wonderful long term fiancée in the process. We also choose not to get married because we don’t follow that convention either (but we respect people who do). Most of all, I choose not to let my past experiences define my future.

The point is, life is like a game. You are first dealt certain cards that can either define and control you, keeping you feeling stuck and in need to develop a better external image because you feel lost in your own identity. Or you can learn to use the cards you are dealt, drop with the moss that gathered and pick up better cards along the way that fit your emerging identity. This is the principle of ‘the designer onion’.

You will find that lot of what bothered you in the past (or now), such as body dysmorphia, is a result of our ingrained belief systems that we can only deal with once we have built the negative experience in the first place.

It would actually be worse for your life if you never experienced any hardship or mental doubts. The doubt is really just an opportunity to learn something you don’t know about yourself yet and to grow from it.

If you don’t, then you just live a sheltered life that never gets the best out of you. If you do choose to embrace the difficulties rather than play the victim of your own life then they will shape you into a stronger person in the long run.

When your ego isn’t able to get hurt you no longer keep hurting it.

Instead focus on what you are in control of, and simply accept life will always throw you curve balls. Just be ready to hit them out of the park.

Also, a big problem you have right now will only seem insignificant to you in the future. It’s worth remembering that as it shows how your future self is already looking out for you as you will learn from experience and look back and wonder what the fuss what all about.

Of course, an issue such as body dysmorphia isn’t going to go away overnight, and you will be fighting with yourself at times wondering what is wrong with yourself.

Just remember that nothing is, it’s just ingrained expectations playing tricks on what seems important to you, but with focus on better your core self, and not on what others expect of you, then you will absolutely own this!